Sympathy For The Put-Upon Puppet

When it comes to cult TV puppet characters having a particularly shit life, was there ever a character more ill treated and put upon that poor old Kyrano from Thunderbirds?

Faithful ‘aide de camp’ (servant, basically) to the Tracey family, proud father and doting mentor to marionette sauce pot Tin-Tin he may be, but that aside, his primary function in Thunderbirds seems to be as a kind of lackey kick arse to both the good and the bad guys.

Worst of all, when not pandering to the every whim of the housework shy Tracey men, the poor sod has to contend his having mind controlled at will by the evil bastard slap-head ‘The Hood’
All The Hood has to do is glare at his trusty statue / idol thing, get his eyes to glow a bit and say ‘Kyyyyyyrrrraaaaaannnnoooooo’ a few times with increasing intensity until the unlucky git is sent tumbling to the ground. He is then telepathically forced into ‘immobilising the automatic camera detector’ on Thunderbird 1, or similar, or worse.

And why is it that Kyrano always seems to be carrying a tray of drinks when The Hood chooses to mind zap him? There he is, happily trotting in with a tray full of Mojitos, and BAM! down he goes, the tray does flying and I dare say he’s the one who is made to clear up the mess afterwards (unless Tin-Tin or at a push Grandma is willing to help) before he slips away unnoticed to carry out Baldy’s dirty work.

I’m surprised to be honest that Jeff Tracey didn’t just cotton on sooner and give Kyrano the boot. If the tendency towards frequent life and security threatening sabotage under hypnosis wasn’t excuse enough, then surely the carpet cleaning bill from all the spilled drinks would have been?

I’d like to think that Kyrano is now residing in a retirement home and living in relative peace and quiet with the also retired Brains and his trusty chess playing robot, Braman. Perhaps The Hood (languishing in a top security prison somewhere, but allowed his trusty statue / idol thingy in exchange for hard work in the laundry room and good behaviour in the showers) still likes to ‘manipulate’ Kyrano from time to time, and I’ll bet he waits until the poor sod is carrying a pot of tea and the Rummikub across to the table where Brains and the robot are waiting.

“KyyyyyyyyyyyRRRRRRRaaaaaaaaannoooooooooo”

“KyyyyyyyyyyyyrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRAAAAAAANNNNoooooo”

“Aaaaaaa-aaaaaaah-aaaaaGGGHHHHH”

CRASH!

Coming up next in my series on puppet characters who get a rum deal; Troy Tempest's underachieving but loyal sidekick, Phones........

More to follow



Col