Just A Quick Peep Round The Door Of Room 101...

Just a brief rant. This will happen from time to time.

Here’s one of an occasional series of ‘Things That Get My Back Up For No Particular Reason’

Words Pronounced In A Way That Might Be Correct But I Don’t Actually Like

Pizza – surely this should be pronounced ‘Peet-ser’ and not ‘Pit-ser’? – main offender; can’t think of one right now except for a character in Brookside in the late 1980s, a Scottish guy, turned out to be a bad sort, dealt in video nasties that he stored in the loft at his girlfriend’s house. Hmmmm – wasn’t the girlfriend the sister of Dr Choi, who was played by David ‘The Chinese Detective’ Yip?

Tikka – I’m absolutely sure this should be pronounced ‘Teak-err’ and not ‘Ticker’ – main offender – nope, stuck again for a specific villain, although Clarkson said it on Top Gear once about 8 years ago, and I still haven’t forgiven him.

Medicine – Grrrrr – don’t know why but this winds me up more than any of the others. Medicine is a three syllable word and only filthy toads pronounce it as ‘Med-Sun’ – main offenders? – every Newsreader and News Reporter throughout the 1990s

Uranus – actually, I think this one is quite clever and not really annoying at all. How to spare the schoolboy giggles and acute embassment of saying the name of a planet as ‘Yer Anus’ (snigger snigger);simply alter the emphasis from the second to the first syllable (ie URanus instead of urAnus) and nobody need be any the wiser. I’ll bet Patrick Moore still says it the proper way.

Auction – Double Grrrrrr – My current employment allows for me to work from home from time to time and as my beloved is currently on long term sick leave this means that I might be cheerfully ‘evaluating core issues’ on my PC whilst ‘Dickinson’s Real Deal’ is on the telly in the background. As far as I am aware ‘auction’ is pronounced ‘awk-tion’ and definitely not pronounced ‘ok-tion’ as the loathsome orange lizard seems to prefer to do.

I may not rant again for a while so while I’m being a moany little mardy arse can I also have a quick whinge about two Americanisms that really get my back up? OK well first of all (as my nephew and great friend Stephen will testify) I can’t bear to hear people say ‘can I get’ instead of ‘can I have’ or ‘may I have’ (Stephen to his credit actually ups his ‘can I get’ usage in my presence. He really knows more than most what scares and aggravates Col. Whispering on TV, A Cyclops, Early Nineties Prototype ‘Hoodies’ – oh yes, he knows them all.......)

Secondly, and finally, is the sudden an inexplicable substitution of ‘I haven’t got a clue’ or ‘I have no idea’ with the dreaded ‘I have no clue’. Why do these things get to me so much? I’ll be the first to admit that my own English, written and spoken, is a long, long way from perfect (just to get the disclaimer in quickly!) so it’s probably just me being an arse.

I have to wrap this up, as I have to dash off to an Ok-tion, where I’m hoping to buy some photos of URanus – why? I have no clue, but before I go, can I get a chicken ticker pit-ser and some med-sun for a headache?

More to follow

Col